magic conch shell will leonardo dicarprio ever win an oscar?
the conch has spoken
Hockey is so fucking entertaining without even meaning to be.
All these hockey gifs and they didn’t include the best one:
this made me want to watch hockey
that gif above me. is my home team.
Probably my favorite thing about Bob’s Burgers is that they don’t do that thing where the characters try to one-up each other with an endless barrage of jokes? No, the characters react like actual people instead. They actually laugh or chuckle when somebody says something actually funny and/or weird. They stop mid-sentence. They do double-takes. And it all feels so very natural, because that is exactly what common people do. And that is such a refreshing change of pace, when you consider the fact that the norm in these things is to have jokes relentlessly thrown at you at break-necking speed.
Bob’s Burgers perfectly highlights how the writing in TV shows is making a huge shift from idealized, clearly scripted call and response to less streamlined, more realistic dialogue. It’s probably the biggest change to comedy recently, and it’s a HUGE shift.
and of course, the puns
Fuck this is why he’s my fave
Peter Hale = Scar
Feminism is having a wardrobe malfunction.
Does your brand of feminism remove barriers for women, or simply move them around? Does is expand options for women, or does it just shift them? You don’t liberate women by forcing them to choose option B instead of option A. What is comfortable for you might not be comfortable for someone else, and it’s entirely possible that what you see as oppressive, other women find comfortable or even downright liberating.
Before you think the girl in the middle is a strawman, let me tell you I used to be her, back in my misguided youth. I considered myself the standard to which other people should adhere. But that was stupid. It’s not up to me to tell people how to dress, and it’s much nicer to let everyone choose for themselves.
Some women would feel naked without a veil. Some women would find it restrictive. Some women would feel restricted by a bra. Some women would feel naked without one. Some women would feel restricted by a tight corset. Others love them. Some wear lots of clothes with a corset. Some only wear the corset and nothing else. What makes any article of clothing oppressive is someone forcing you to wear it. And it’s just as oppressive to force someone not to wear something that they want to wear.
the beauty of nature: a rainbow of blooming flowers (timelapse)
In case you are a fan of same sex unions, weddings in general, or are just really itching to know what I look like (or my wife, as I haven’t posted a picture of her yet [she’s the adorable one in the suspenders]) here’s the promised wedding picture spam.
Best day of my life.
Okay, but see here’s the thing. I want all of you to understand this thing:
I posted these wedding photos because this was the most amazing day of my life. I’ve been married for about two months, and goddammit, it has been just the best, you know? Like, this woman, in these photographs? She’s incredible. She’s unreal. She’s kind and she’s thoughtful and she’s everything I never thought I deserved. She’s the woman who I get to spend the rest of my ridiculously lucky life with.
It’s so simple to me, to us.
But it’s so complicated to so much of the world. She and I can’t walk into the grocery store holding hands. I get tight-lipped when someone compliments my ring at work because I can’t determine if they are going to be “cool” with it or not. If they’ll report me for being “inappropriate” in our online survey. Again. My wife was fired from a job as a driver for a children’s occupational therapist because her boss saw us kiss at the mall— because she couldn’t have “that kind of person” around children. I walked myself down the aisle at my wedding because a church told my parents that it wasn’t possible for them to attend my wedding.
And we’ve had it so easy! Our lives have been blissfully carefree compared to so many. We have the most amazing friends and family and life is pretty fucking sweet.
But here’s the thing I wanted to tell you. This post I made, to try to just share my little square of happiness with my little square of the internet, has literally tens of thousands of notes. Tens of thousands. I’ve gained hundreds of followers and my inbox runneth over. And not a single message I’ve received, not a single reblog that I have been able to find, has had anything to say but amazing, beautiful, kind words of congratulations. No bullying. No trolling. No inappropriate offers or lewd remarks. Out of tens of thousands.
That’s not something I’m used to. It’s not something anyone in the LGBTQ community is used to.
Do you even get how amazing you are? You, the denizens of Tumblr. Do you understand that? I am so exceedingly proud of you, you wacky kids. You are all such incredible people, with such kind and open hearts, and I wish I could hug each and every one of your necks.
So if you are having any sort of rough day, please know that there is this tiny lesbian couple in northeast America who likes you just a whole lot, okay? You’ve overwhelmed us.
Thank you. We love you.
today i wore a v-neck to school, something that is totally normal for 99% of the girls there, one of the girls in my french class was wearing one similar to mine in fact.
but my french teacher came up to me and told me that i was out of dress code and that i was asking for something to happen to me.
and all day long i had to slap guys who found it perfectly okay to grab them.
im a 32DDD, 5’1, and 115 pounds. due to this im known around the school as the walking boobs, the girl who grew in other places, and BITS. I constantly get called a whore and a tease.
Girls are always accusing their boyfriends of sleeping with me.
and there have been times when i have had to tell teachers that my eyes are up here.
i grew boobs in the eighth grade, i was a DD then, and i cant tell you how many fights i got into with guys who thought it was alright to stick their faces in them.
the point of all of this is that its bullshit.
i should be able to wear a v neck to school without worrying about who is going to grab my boobs next, or who is going to throw a gum wrapper in them, or what girls are going to say next.
Fuck that shit! I would report any teacher that needs to be reminded not to stare at your chest. That is not okay in any sense.
Also, I’d say screw slut-shaming, but this isn’t even a matter of dressing how one wants, but a matter of a woman’s natural state being the reason that men think it’s okay to sexual harass or assault her.
- Large breasts are not an invitation.
- Large breasts are not an invitation.
- LARGE BREASTS ARE NOT AN INVITATION.
Are we clear?
Reblog and Amplify.
FOR FUCKING REAL.
I thought that fucking gum-wrapper thing was just me. It’s not funny, it’s not a game. It’s you being a dick and treating me like a fucking object.
fun fact: Michael Cera asked Rihanna if he could slap her ass for real and she said “you can slap my ass for real if I can slap you in the face for real” and he was like alright. and they did the take like 3 times and Michael was like “you’re not hitting me hard enough do it for real” and then she slapped the fuck out of him and threw off his equilibrium so much he had to go lay down in his trailer for like half an hour and that’s the take they used in the movie with no added sound effects